Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My pussy is not your playground.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
