I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize