She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
