I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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