I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
