DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
