whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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