I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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