i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
