somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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