I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
