I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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