Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
