i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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