Buhtt sex?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
