The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
