You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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