if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
