It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I believe in your delicious
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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