just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
