she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
