when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
