I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
