I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
