Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
