You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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