Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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