After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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