How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
