nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And then he peed in my hair
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