There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
