alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
