is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You ruined the universe
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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