Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
