Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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