That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
