It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
