The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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