Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
