i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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