i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
