I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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