Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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