He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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