dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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