I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Boobs speak an international language.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Text me some of your sweat
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
