but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My life is pants optional.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
