I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
