Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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