I hope mine doesn't look like that
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
