...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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