dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
